An Evolving Portfolio

The plan for my reinvention was to develop a portfolio of activities in which I could contribute time and expertise, or in which I could learn and grow personally.  The past couple of weeks following my NOLS/WMI experience have given an early (and incomplete) illustration of what this may eventually look like.  Here is what I have been up to (not, thankfully, minute by minute)

My work in the IRB (Chair of the Committee on Human Research in the Behavioral Science) has been predictably interesting and varied. This week included our monthly committee meeting as well as several expedited protocol reviews.  The IRB is taking more time than I initially thought likely, but I can now devote more time and thought to my reviews than previously.  Perhaps I am deluding myself, but I like to think that I am not acting as a barrier to, but rather as a facilitator of the protocols that I review.  My recommendations need to address the human subject concerns, but I try to also make suggestions on how to do this and still accomplish the work efficiently.  In certain circumstances, we have been able to remove obstacles (deleting HIPAA authorizations, or suggesting short form consents).  Next week, I begin meeting with individual researchers at their request to discuss general IRB issues, something that I had envisioned once I had more time.  Should be fun and interesting.  I’ll get to practice some listening skills.

Though I am no longer a board member of the Vermont Tobacco Evaluation Review Board, I still chair its evaluation subcommittee.  This past Friday we had an interesting meeting for which (at least on this occasion) I was well prepared.  We are working on analyzing the 2010 VT adult tobacco survey, preparing an RFP for the next independent evaluator contract, and making some decisions on denominator issues for outcome evaluations for the cessation services.  All of this makes use of my MPH training and keeps me connected with the tobacco control community. 

That same Friday, I drove to Portsmouth NH to attend the American Lung Association of New England board meeting (I am a board representative from Vermont).  This charter is exceptionally well staffed and run, and the people on the board are quite an interesting group, and the discussions significant: merger with New York, transforming the data tracking software for volunteers.

In between, I am trying to learn French using Rosetta Stone for our trip next June to the Dordogne to canoe the rivers and see cave paintings, reading (and listening) to some interesting books, and doing more of the cooking and cleaning. Even did a stint answering phones for our public radio station pledge drive.  And yes, I am having fun as well, taking a high school friend sailing and taking other opportunities to be on our boat. Alas, the boat was put up for the winter this past weekend.

Despite this assortment of activity, I am early in the discovery phase of my reinvention.  And this is now on hold as we visit Jordan and Ariel at Stanford (the excuse is my 35^th reunion).   When I get back I need to explore how I take my WMI training further, research websites (eg, www.giving2.com) for other ways to give my time, AND (more prosaic) clean my desk.

Living and Learning in the Moment

Hiking in the Galiuros AZ with NOLS/WMI

In my prior post, I echoed advice by others that one should develop a vision for one’s life roles and goals with the “End” in mind.  My experience in the past week at the NOLS/Wilderness Medicine expedition course underscored the need to also "be" in the present.  While the course gave me what I sought – some grounding in medical assessment, initial treatment, and triaging when in low resource situations – it unexpectedly provided significantly more of value.  I believe this was because I had inadvertently put myself into a situation where I was completely out of my usual comfort and competency zone.

During the week, I spent 24/7 with five other people I had never previously met, doing something (backpacking in the wilderness) I have only done once before, and that over 35 years ago.  I was challenged to learn wilderness medicine, but also backpacking and camping expertise, route planning, and (most importantly) teamwork and relationship skills.  I was constantly doing risk assessment: “Can I safely climb this boulder or step on this rock or do this traverse with a 40 lb backpack?” (Usually, yes) “Could that be a rattlesnake I am heading towards?” (YES!! on 4 separate occasions) “Do I know where we are?” (Not always)  My mind could not wander far, nor did I have time to ponder the future except at night on the hard ground, and then I was too tired to care.  I was instead intensely in the present, trying to wring what I could from this experience and the expertise of others.

 

Fortunately, the “others” were an exceptional collection of individuals.  My fellow students were mature beyond their years, and accomplished both in their professional lives (ER resident, nurse practitioner, nurse) and their avocations (collegiate soccer, Ironmans, marathons, wilderness pursuits, and international travel including climbing Mt Kilimanjaro).  Our two course leaders were a champion ultramarathoner (100 mile races) who began this sport after becoming a mom and a nurse, and a person who had kayaked the coast of Chile and bicycled to Belize while also inventing a whole assortment of items and leading countless NOLS courses. Oh, and all of this while also being a nurse, EMT and husband.  These few sentences do not nearly capture the depth of their personalities or the quality of our discussions around the camp stove and on the trail.

In retrospect, somehow I was insightful or lucky enough to have arranged just such a trip this early into my reinvention.  I was forced to look at myself both formally and informally outside of my usual roles and common settings in the company of gifted strangers with whom I journeyed, cooked, slept, and learned.  The experience has provided me with both confidence in the direction I am taking and a sense of humility.